my table never looks like this, so here are some pics while it does

I had a gorgeous farmhouse dining room table and benches that I commissioned a friend to do -- not David Marshall, I should add. Sorry David Marshall; when I am a millionaire, I will have you re-do my house with things made out of reclaimed barnwood from France. I promised him I'd send some photos, so I thought I'd share, along with links to shop the super fun dining room knickknacks (knick-knacks? who knows..) from my go-to's, Anthropologie and Target.

Target Pro Tip: DON'T EVEN GO IN THERE because honestly, ignorance is bliss. 
Anthro Pro Tip: Come into the store if you ever want to order things! We waive the shipping! And the company's shipping is like...$12, it's p crazy. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. 

Here she is! I'll pick up some chairs for the empty ends at some point. Hopefully something upholstered and comfortable to make up for the, you know, uncushioned wooden benches. Whoops. Also, benches are like, real uncomfortable to sit on. And very hard to deal with WHEN YOU ARE IN A LEG BRACE. Also, whoops. Please also note the little pieces of paper in my floor. I don't really sweep at all, ever. Also, that is not a real fern, because FAKE PLANTS 4 LYFE. I had to have a flaw. That's not it, though. 

This is the part where I give you a lot of links. If you are lazy (is this the flaw?), like moi, you will like the 'Shop' up top where you can see every Anthro kitchen item that I own in one lil thumbnail gallery. Okay. The links. THIS PART IS THE WORST, no one ever blogs about that part. I have this INSANE word document with ALL THESE LINKS and names of things. *groans for 18 years*

[Floral Table Runner by Threshold] -- so, not from Anthro. SORRY, ANTHRO. Idk why it is named this because it has leaves on it, not flowers...and I got the burlap thing from TJ Maxx about 7 years ago so honestly that's a lost cause.
[Assemblage Candelabra] // [Nantucket Brass Lantern] // [Capri Blue Votives] // [Mini Capri Blue Jar Candle] // [Burnished Candle] // [Bubble Glass Lantern]

Man, for someone who doesn't know what she's doing, I think I did a p good job with that. Okay, now here are some sort-of expensive glasses. It's telling me I spelled the word "doesn't" wrong up there. Did I? Says that second time I did it right. Whatever.

So. I have been using the same Vineyard Vines Tervis tumblers that I've had since junior year of college as dinner glasses since, well, junior year of college. I have summer ones and Christmas ones. The best one is the one with the lobster wearing mittens. But, I am developing into a nice young lady with no chill, so to make up for it, I got real people drinking glasses. They are not even the cheap ones from Walmart in case a guest breaks them. This has been known to happen. Moment of silence for my Cinco de Mayo party of 2013. 

The purpley glasses are on sale. AND there's a sale on sale right now -- extra 25% off. I can't find them online. I didn't really look that hard. I think there are two left in the GVL store. Hurry? Whoops again. 

The white speckle ones are apparently part of a blown glass collection, which I learned at the register today. Snag 'em here: [Lustered Tumbler Set]. The thing says they're a set, but you can buy just one if you want to. I don't really know why you'd want to, but let your freak flag fly.

ALSO THESE JUICE GLASSES ARE MY LIFE. I wasted a lot of juice to get this shot right. I don't even think I even did that good of a job. Moment of silence for the juice. I felt bad, because it was from Whole Foods, BUT THEN I LOOKED and saw that it was expired so really I dodged a bullet. 
There are lots of sassy ones. ONE HAS A NARWHAL. I don't know why I don't own it. YET. I should add that these are HAND WASH ONLY but you if you really love something, and believe in it, you should fight for it.
[Menagerie Juice Glasses]

Here are the bowls I use for some things, like when I should use a plate, but wanna eat laying down, so I use a bowl. They are called [Latte Bowls]. They make a bigger version, called a [Latte Pasta Bowl]. I was v happy with the size, bc ya girl can eat a lot of pasta.

I ordered the [tiny gold spoons] from Amazon. I thought they were regular spoons. The description says 'espresso spoons' now that I read it. I didn't know what that was. Now I do. A rude houseguest saw them once and said "oh, is that what was in your mouth when you were born?" and I clapped right back and said "no, no, that one was silver and I keep it in a shadowbox in the family estate" even though joke's on him because I grew up on a farm and really just wanted gold spoons. The small ones are nice; they make it take longer to eat a pudding cup.

AND THESE ARE FUN! They are teeny lil plate guys. I am learning about all the different kinds of plates. There are dinner plates, salad plates, and then these -- canapé plates. What is a canapé? I use them when I eat things that are small, or when I am doing an Instagram of me having coffee. AND THEY ARE ON SALE FOR $5. Come see us at the GVL store! 
[Calligrapher Monogram Canape Plate]

Also...I'm watching a show on Netflix that has Ariana Grande in the cast, and I could listen to her talk all day, but Y'ALL, she dies in the first episode!!! Sort of the worst idea anyone has ever had. Joke's on me though, because I'm still watching it. Also, if you think this is a spoiler, I didn't say the name of the show. Hah. 

ALRIGHT FAM, that's some of the stuff in my kitchen. That table won't look like that after tonight  because it's where I throw stuff, in case you missed the part about me only eating on my couch because the benches are annoying.

I think I'm supposed to like...ask questions to encourage comments now. 

What are some ways that you keep yourself from eating pudding cups too fast? How do you emotionally cope with having glasses that are hand-wash only? Do you think the little label is serious about that? What even is a canapé? Don't Google it -- I want to know if you know. 

COMING SOON: More lifestyle pieces, like where I ask my dietitian important questions, like, "WHAT IS THIS VEGETABLE I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF?" and "Can I hide this in a smoothie?" and "Okay, if I eat this, what's in it for me?" -- not to be outdone by "what in the world do you want me to do with a gallon of arugula?"

XOXO,
AP